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August 21, 2011

Comments

Queenie

I love it when you post the stuff people say to you. It's always so ridiculous. I think people are afraid of me, because they are definitely careful in what they say (although, I'm still in the closet about this pregnancy, so we'll see how it goes this time).

Not that you were looking for suggestions, but:

#1 is a normal question--how about "this is my first girl"?

But from there, it's all downhill. The best advice I ever got on handling press was that I shouldn't let the question define the answer:

To #2, I would have some really ridiculous answer like, "well I had always planned to buy my kids at Walmart, but that Sam guy just hasn't come through for me."

To #3, it seems to me like the obvious answer is "well, I was on this huge bender, and the next thing you know, I woke up in Reno wearing nothing but a pair of pasties and a smile." :) Even if they know you, that's a pretty bold question!

Bev

For number 1 I would just say, "no I already have a son", there's no need to define him.

Aegina

Queenie -- I wish I had your sharp wit! No wonder people are scared of you! ;-) Brava!

Rachel

I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt on their good intentions since I have a rather unfortunate habit of asking inappropriate questions myself. One of my favorites from a younger me when a colleague mentioned something about breastfeeding "Oh! I had no idea that you could do that if you have no breasts" and a long-standing favorite from a good friend when she dropped by my house unannounced: "I thought you were managing it all, but wow, your house is filthy!"

That said, I also don't think you need to define squeaker's relationship when asked casually if this is your first, or to discount your prior pregnancies. I'd just go with a resounding "No."

Tiffany

I always LOVED when people asked me if I was going to keep teaching. Seriously? No, seriously? I'm single...I think I'll keep my job because I'll need to feed the baby, nevermind keep a roof over our heads!

Tiffany

Oh, or how about this:
Are they your children? Yes they are.
Were they adopted? I feel like responding, "no, I just get around".

Almamay

I think your answer to question 3357 should be, "Yes, we did adopt, just a few months earlier than we did our first son." Then just leave it for them to figure out.

Rachel

I'm 18wks with twins through embryo adoption. (I've been reading your blog since before the FET.) These are our first kids (& pregnancy), but I've gotten many similar questions already. I'm still debating how to answer them. Some people get the "yes, this is my first" answer so they'll leave me alone, some get "it's actually my first & second." But then that leads to "oh, do twins run in your family?" Well, technically they do, but that has nothing to do with our situation. Dilemmas, dilemmas. Thanks for sharing with us. :)

luna

ugh, the annoying things people say and ask.

we're getting our own version of Qs, not related to race but more about adoption, fertility treatment, my age, etc.

I'm even tired of answering the medical people's questions: first child? um, no. first pregnancy? no. what's the correct answer? 2nd pregnancy, 1st baby, 2nd child. now you figure it out. usually I share with them, but I'm tired of explaining it to others. time for a little snark, I think.

I feel like for some reason people think the racial question is fair game -- just like everyone wants to touch babies as public domain or something -- when it's none of anyone's business. small talk is one thing, but curiosity is not a compelling enough reason to get into something so personal, I think.

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