Went to the Doc today. She found the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler, woohoo! 160bpm and steady as a little drum. My HMO is particularly stingy with the ultrasounds, so no visuals today, oh well. I get to have a big scan on the fancy machine in a couple weeks, so I guess we'll have to be patient until then.
While we were listening to the heartbeat, Doc was as giddy with excitement as we were. At the end of the visit, she grinned and said, "I really feel like I have an investment in this baby!" Which, given the fact that she has about a million patients and is constantly overbooked, makes me feel great. I know that if I call, email or page her, I'm going to get a quick response, and likely from her personally. It's a very calming thought.
An interesting part of the visit was her explanation of why they'll be inducing me at 39 weeks. Apparently, in younger women, the risk of stillbirth increases at 41 weeks. Something about the placenta getting too ripe to support life after a certain point. Which I guess would be nature's way of making sure that the baby gets out while it's still small enough to fit through the birth canal? Anyway, studies have apparently shown that at age 35, the danger zone moves to 40 weeks, and in women who are age 40 and over, 39 weeks is when the stillbirth rate skyrockets. I'm not excited about being induced, but the goal is to get this baby out alive, so I'm of course going to follow Doc's orders on this one.
She did say that the hospital where I'll be delivering (assuming I deliver at term) is very cool about letting mothers move around a LOT while they're laboring, even when they're on Pitocin. I know that's not always the case, so hearing that was a great relief. And the fetal monitor can be on while you're in the birthing tub ... ahhhh, I could use a soak in a tub right about now. This particular hospital is very midwife-friendly, which to me means it's also woman-friendly. All this stuff is a long way down the road, but I do like to plan ahead, and it's good to know Doc and I are on the same page about the basics.
And, speaking of getting way out ahead of myself, I've already told the Mister that, for both of our sakes, we're hiring a doula. Given the way our communication often breaks down completely when I'm under stress, the presence of a calm third party might actually save our marriage. Seems to me like a good investment ; )
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By the way, thanks for all of the helpful wording suggestions on my last post. You're right, of course, that I don't owe anyone at work the full explanation. I guess I should have explained that my boss and I have sort of become friends, to the extent that one can be friends with a ridiculously busy executive. He tells me about his daughters, I've told him about Squeaker's sleep problems, he's confided in me about some of his career opportunities and work frustrations, we gossip about people we both know in our industry. We're not best friends by any means, but he is someone I enjoy and respect. I don't think he'll demand to know how this pregnancy happened -- he's not rude or nosy, but he's also not dumb. He knows damn well how old I am and that we adopted because we couldn't make bio kids. I guess it would just feel strange not to at least tell him that it came about with a little help from science. We'll see.
My annual review is scheduled for Friday morning, so I figure I'll drop the bomb then, since we'll be talking about my goals for next year. Let's see ... Goal #1 -- have a living healthy baby. Goal #2 -- stay alive and healthy myself. Goal #3 -- figure out how to balance a baby, a toddler, a marriage, and a household on no sleep. Goal #4 -- stay employed because god knows we'll need the health insurance ...
I highly recommend hiring a doula--we used one, and she was worth every penny. She was amazing about helping me work through my fears pre-birth (via email--so convenient!), and just such a calming presence for both of us during labor. She was also great about telling my husband to go eat at certain points, and assuring him that it was okay to leave me. Mind was a former OB nurse, so I could also use her as a resource to talk about options if I didn't like what the dr (the on call--not my regular) had to say (the dr. pushed pitocin, wanted to give me an episiotomy, and do other things I was opposed to). It really gave me confidence throughout the process, and I had the birth I really wanted. It was worth spending a little extra to get the former OB nurse doula. We also hired her for a night after we came home to be our night nurse. I needed to know I had that extra help, in case I had trouble breastfeeding, and it helped me know I could do it on my own. It was just one night, but sooo helpful for my self-confidence (and I got extra sleep that night!)
Posted by: Queenie | July 13, 2011 at 12:15 PM
I'm giddy about this, too! So happy about the heartbeat and so happy that you get to plan the birth, the doula, the work announcement, everything! I think some doulas will come to the house after you are home, too, to help with breastfeeding, cook, massage, generally to help pamper YOU. Be sure to ask if your doula includes this in her fee. There is nothing more important in those first few weeks than taking care of mama, as you know.
BTW, we lost a baby three months ago, and we are cautiously hoping my recent BFP last week will bring a sibling for Chipmunk.
Posted by: fiddle1 | July 13, 2011 at 12:46 PM
nice!
Posted by: Sara | July 13, 2011 at 04:15 PM