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I didn't get that job I applied for. Eh, that's fine. According to a friend whose friend worked there for awhile, it was a very dysfunctional place. Some of that came out in the second interview, but I'm kind of used to dysfunction, so I was ignoring it ... The money would have been Very Nice, but I doubt that I would have been given the flexible scheduling options that I generally have with my current job. And lately I'm feeling a bit more comfortable about the stability of my job. For awhile there, I wasn't sure it was going to last another six months. Now, my boss is making it clear that he values my presence (that wasn't always the case), the projects are rolling in so the company's finances are more stable, and I'm seeing how this job might actually grow into other things. So that's all good.
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I sprained my thumb 3 weeks ago, going down the big slide at the playground. I was hurrying to get to the bottom so I could catch Squeaker. My thumb got caught on a seam in the plastic and stayed behind me while my body hurtled forward. It hurt like a MoFo. I screamed obscenities. And then got up and rushed over to catch Squeaker as he flew off the end of the other slide. We had just arrived at the playground, so I had to wait until he was tired out before I could take him home and plunge my hand into a bag of ice. I wore a brace for several weeks and it's better, but it still hurts like hell if I hit it or move it wrong. The damage seems to have occurred primarily in the joint. No, I haven't seen a doctor. That takes time, and they'll just tell me to rest it -- with a toddler to care for, hahahahaha. To quote my son, "SO funny!!!"
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I'm taking a yoga class two nights a week. It's the only exercise I get, besides hauling Squeaker around.
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Squeaker is in the middle of his terrible twos, even though he's not quite 22 months old. He won't eat, but he's hungry. He won't sleep, but he's tired. He doesn't want to wake up from his naps, but he won't stay asleep. He gets up at night and wanders down the hall, appearing in the doorway of our bedroom, stuffed monkey clutched in his hand -- "Hug! Bed!" -- and he doesn't mean his bed. So he gets in bed with us and then can't sleep because it's too warm with all the bodies, or it's too light in our room. So he kicks and thrashes and beats on us with his fists, all in a semi-asleep state. But if we carry him back to his room and wait there until we're sure he's snoring, he's back in our doorway within minutes. We're fraying a bit around the edges again, the Mister and I. Things that need to get done are starting to slip.
And, the problem is, Squeaker is so freaking verbal that it's easy to imagine he's 22 months going on 4 years old. He speaks in full sentences sometimes, and his vocabulary is enormous. Basically, if we say a word, he'll repeat it, and half the time, he remembers it for future use. It's actually a bit uncomfortable when he's around other kids his age, because he's so far out in front of them verbally and his coordination is so solid. Yet, as soon as we start to forget and treat him like a walking talking 4-year-old, he reminds us in no uncertain terms that he is still a baby emotionally. It's a challenging time for all of us. He actually finds comfort in his frequent time-outs, perhaps because it gives him a chance to stand still and be quiet. The rest of the time, he's a whirling dervish. I know how I feel when I get manic or over-caffeinated ... I can only imagine how exhausting it must be to be that small and have all this energy bursting out of you ... and then all of the adults keep saying "no no no!" to everything you do to burn off steam.
He spins in circles at night until he falls down, then gets up and does it again. He's willing to have his teeth brushed, but wants to do it himself ("Self! Self!") which of course means sucking all the toothpaste off the brush and refusing to spit, even though last week spitting was the most fun activity in the world. He fights having his clothes taken off, fights getting his diaper changed, kicks and kicks and kicks you -- hard -- while you're trying to put his diaper back on (which is particularly lovely when one has an excruciatingly painful sprained thumb), doesn't want his pajamas put on, throws books around when he's supposed to be choosing his bedtime story ... and then ... you sit in the big stuffed chair and he absolutely melts into your lap, eyes half closed already as you begin to read. Sometimes he'll finish a sentence as you read, or point out the interesting parts of the illustrations, and then, halfway through a book, he'll shut it. You turn the light off and he doesn't ask for milk like he used to -- he just rolls over and starts to go to sleep. After about a minute, he climbs down from your lap, walks over to his bed and climbs in. Not a word more will you hear (until he appears in your doorway at 2am).
But that doesn't mean he's actually asleep. The line between waking and sleep is very fuzzy now. He used to fight sleep but clearly BE asleep when he finally dropped off. Now, he lies quietly for 30 or 40 minutes, but if you start to leave the room, he stirs fully awake. It's hard to tell when it's safe to leave, and whether he's actually asleep when you do finally leave. We listen for the little feet upstairs, or the water running in the bathtub ... for some reason, when he gets up, he likes to go turn on the water in the tub. He's often fully asleep while he's doing it. And we're actually glad he does this, because it's often the only way we have of knowing when he's up. Sometimes, we'll hear him messing with the baby monitor. Which usually means that he'll meet us at the door of his bedroom with both arms piled high with tissues or baby wipes. Why? Who knows.
It's an exhausting time. People ask me how he is, or how we are, and all I can say is "Crazy."
wow, I'm exhausted just reading your update.
the water in the tub thing kind of freaks me out. and the sleepwalking. yikes.
sorry the embryo donation thing hasn't worked out. hope your next plan does.
Posted by: luna | October 01, 2010 at 10:18 PM