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August 06, 2010



I can't really relate, but my sister in laws story is very similar. In her 30s she was working and not ready to settle down, plus she didn't meet her husband until she was 39. Once they knew they were serious about each other they tried the conventional route, then IVF, ICSI and eventually overseas adoption. It took a very long time and she was 49 when she brought her daughter home from Russia.

Her daughter was 5, and my daughter was 4 so she is quite lucky in that she has a similar aged cousin. Unfortunately, they live in Germany and we are in the UK, so we don't see each other often and when we do the kids don't speak the same language.

I know I was worried about my SIL adopting at nearly 50, I was nearly 40 with a 4 year old and exhausted, and if I am honest, I thought she was mad. However, she is very young at heart, fit and healthy.

I don't really have any great words of advice, but wanted to let you know you aren't alone. There are others who become moms later in life. They are just harder to find.


Hey Sister!!!! Did you forget about me? I think you are terrific and want your planned cycle to work for you. Really, really want it to work. Oh, and by the way, I'm starting back on the IVF treadmill again in the fall with my frosties. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.


SO FUNNY! I didn't forget about you at all ... I guess I wasn't counting my bloggy friends ... although now that I think about it, you may be the only one I know who is Exactly My Age (to the day!) and doing the same thing. So we can be batty old moms together : ) xxxoo


If we are lucky enough with our cycles it will be great fun. I completely agree that there are things our children won't experience if we were younger mums but there are also many advantages. I feel happier and more confident than I was when we started trying for a family at 28. Because of this, I think I'm a better mother than I might have been back then.

There is no wrong or right way is there? If there is a right way I missed that memo. I feel so lucky and grateful to be a mother at all. It didn't look like it was ever going to happen for a very long time. I will never, ever regret the fact that I was 44 when we finally became a family. In fact, I'm very proud we got there in the end.


While I don't have age counting against me (yet), I do think that all parents feel deficient in some way or another. I worry about the time needed for my career when the fusspot is young, our limited savings, and our need to move repeatedly. I know those are all different than worrying about missing out on having a good group of peer mothers, but I am sure that your caution (not exactly the right word, but the amount of time you spend worrying/thinking/planning for being an older mother) will help immensely.

And for the record, I am wowed by your energy having been recently entirely waylaid by exhaustion.


I imagine you'd find better support in the blogosphere than in your every day life.

I'm in the camp of nearing my mid40s, blissfully exhausted, still want another child but can't afford another adoption and the hub can't imagine surviving the grueling process again. on some level, I suppose it's a sad relief that my womb is trashed beyond repair, or I might be crazy enough to try again.

Mrs. X

It is so hard when your friends who are your age are at a different stage in their lives than you are and you feel left behind. But, remember, you are doing what is right FOR YOU. And you will find friends who do know what it's like to do what you're attempting to do and they will give you the support that you need.

I hope with all of my heart that this works for you and that you get the experience that you so want.


My mom had her 9th child (my youngest brother) at age 44! I'm so excited for you and can't wait to hear about your journey!

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