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January 24, 2010



You've got the biggies right there.

There's still a lot of shame surrounding 3rd-party stuff, a lot of shame. Even if people can come to terms with it for themselves as a couple/family, they may not feel up to airing their decision to the world. For the reasons you detail above... somehow, those with medical difficulties leading to IF don't deserve to have kids. People want to read it as nature or God's punishment for some biological wrong or character flaw or whatever.

Frankly, why not have a child who looks like Squeaker? It would make complete sense in your situation. And you've already "just adopted" so screw those people. And you're raising a little one already, so you're clearly in good enough shape to handle it.


Screw what other people think. There's always going to be someone who disagrees with your choices. Regardless of what color or gender your children are, or how those children came into existence, there is always going to be someone who's needlessly critical of you/them for something. It's your job to surround your family with positive, supportive people to the extent you can, and to teach your children how to deal with intolerance when they invariably encounter it.

I think it's a fabulous idea for you to try donor embryos. You sound like you have a really good mindset about it, and recognize the potential downsides. As long as you do, and are prepared to deal with them, I say full steam ahead.

And given Squeaker's sleep issues, I am SO impressed that you are even thinking about #2!


"Why can't we make our own families in the best way we know how, in the way that is most comfortable to us without being judged by others for the way in which we do so?"


I'm beyond caring what others think about my family, so long as they don't interfere with it.

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