On Sunday morning, I woke up determined to face whatever happened next -- to my body, to the cabin, in our lives -- with poise and equanimity.
In the words of Pema Chodron, "Impermanence is a principle of harmony. When we don't struggle against it, we are in harmony with reality, and "to take for permanent that which is only transitory is like the delusion of a madman."
I was prepared to do my best to avoid the delusions of madmen, to breathe deeply, and move on.
Yet when I turned on my computer yesterday morning, I was not prepared for the email from a childhood friend telling me that a little girl named Sienna had lost her battle with cancer. I knew her parents a little -- they are close friends of my childhood friend, so we socialized a few times when I lived in the Big City -- and I met Sienna when she was perhaps 3 or 4. I remember her clearly as one of those magical waif-like children, a bright sweet sprite, charming all of the adults around her. The email about her loss took my breath away. I turned off my computer before it could spit any more bad news at me.
The Mister and I packed up the Dog and headed to the coast.
It was a very nice day.
Our home study is tomorrow. And I see my new OB the next day.
The trick of all this is to keep walking forward, even when the wind pushes you back.
sorry about your friend's child. sad news.
your dog is quite a cute little scruffy fella. hope the home study goes well! and the new ob. forward motion indeed.
Posted by: luna | August 11, 2008 at 08:45 PM
Sorry to hear about your friend's little one. So incredibly sad.
Good luck with your HS today and your upcoming appointment.
Posted by: Shelli | August 12, 2008 at 05:57 AM
Tragedies like this are what make good-sounding principles like equanimity and acceptance so hard to actually live out. I'm glad that you had a good day at the beach (the Dog looks happy indeed!) and I wish you luck with the various visits.
Posted by: Aegina | August 12, 2008 at 03:58 PM