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July 19, 2008

Comments

Almamay

I thought this already but your post today made me realise that you must be a truly wonderful woman. What a lovely thing to do for other women. I wish we weren't just blog buddies and could meet up. The 5,000 miles between us makes it difficult. I am so glad I found your blog.

Mrs.X

Oh my dear. I read your last post and I was just so frustrated for you! I can understand if a GP or internist isn't the most savvy with women who are having a miscarriage, but an OBGYN? You have got to be kidding me. The way she handled this was unacceptable and was just terrible. You didn't need that and she needs to know what she did was wrong.

I was lucky (well, given the situation) that my RE diagnosed my miscarriage and was very, very helpful. He answered my questions and advised me as to what my options were. The only thing that was weird was for about 24 hours after I found out our baby had died, I was convinced that he was wrong. I read all of these message boards where women had an ultrasound and no HB was found but then went on to have healthy babies.

I called him and he was very, very helpful (again). He went through all of the various methods that he used to make sure that it wasn't viable and by the time I had my D&C, I was pretty certain that it was over.

I didn't have any really bad experiences in terms of lack of information, but I really believe that was because my RE was still acting as my OB at that point.

I think it is wonderful that you want to put together this information. Unfortunately, it will be needed for a lot of women.

Feel free to email me if you want more information or have other questions. Hugs.

niobe

I'm very, very glad to hear you're changing doctors.

luna

what a wonderful project to develop. and you're right, not only should they want to provide this information, but then they wouldn't even have to actually *talk* to the patients when they have questions.

glad to hear you're changing doctors.

docgrumbles

That pamphlet is soooooo needed!

Kristen

I went through this just a couple of weeks ahead of you - Thank you for your honesty and information, I appreciated your putting into words what I was feeling. Your pamphlet is such a good idea - here's my view: I didn't make it to the OB and was still under the care of my RE. I don't know if that makes a difference (they deal with more Older Chick Miscarriages, maybe?), but I was comfortable with the level of support and information. My RE is pretty academic, but she did give me a hug, which I wasn't expecting, and, not being a hugging type, I was comforted by.
My only advice is if a woman does get a D and C, and the "products of conception" are tested, they WILL tell you the gender of "The Products" without asking if you want to know. Since, as you pointed out, a result of Normal Female can be misleading, you do need to know the gender to make sense of the genetic testing. Also, be ready for them to just tell you, no send up or "Is this a good time to talk about it?" They'll just spill it. The call caught me by surprise in line at JoAnne fabric as I was trying to find a new hobby (come to find that I sew about as well as I maintain a pregnancy) - So I got to absorb the meaning of Normal Female in the fake fern section, not such a treat. Good Luck with the pamphlet - I'm just sorry you had to go through this extra stress with your OB - keep us posted!!

Shinejil

I'm so impressed that you're using this rough time to help others. I've never m/cied, but I would definitely want detailed information about the process, especially the aftermath, at least from the physical perspective.

I really hope you achieve your goal and help other women gain better treatment and more consideration.

Shinejil

I'm so impressed that you're using this rough time to help others. I've never m/cied, but I would definitely want detailed information about the process, especially the aftermath, at least from the physical perspective.

I really hope you achieve your goal and help other women gain better treatment and more consideration.

noswimmers

That's WONDERFUL that you want to help other women that have to go through this. A pamphlet would be VERY helpful.
My doc gave me the "Empty Arms" book, which was somewhat helpful emotionally...but it doesn't really get into the nitty-gritty details.
The biggest issue for me was that it all felt so RUSHED. I had JUST found out that my twins had died at 19 weeks and had to make all of these big decisions right away. While my doc told me my options (D&E or induction), I felt like I didn't know the "what will happen next" piece of either. It would have been really helpful to have something that detailed all of the options.
You're amazing. :)

the Babychaser

The first time I miscarried, I was in the care of my PCP, rather than my RE. I hadn't even seen a doctor yet for my pregnancy, so the first doctor visit was when I was bleeding.

She really didn't tell me anything. Just took a blood test and said to come back in two days. So I didn't know how bad it would hurt, or how long it would take, or when I could be sure enough I was losing the baby that I could take pain pills. We never followed up with her with any sort of exam or blood test (after the 2nd day beta). Just started trying again two months later.

At the time, I wasn't mad about the lack of information. I didn't know any better. But I think you're right--doctors need something like this. You go, girl!

And congrats on passing your FBI check!!! Yet another step toward motherhood.

Account Deleted

I was shocked when the nurses at my RE couldn't answer my simple basic questions about a blighted ovum, like when would I start bleeding, how much should I expect to bleed, how long would the bleeding last. Happy pamphlet making!

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