My very strange day (and a TMI alert!)

Short version of the long story:

It's over. I'm tired but fine and my body is much relieved.

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WARNING: The rest of this post is pretty graphic. Pregnant women and squeamish folks should strongly consider clicking away from this screen right now. Please!!!  I'd hate to be the cause of any nightmares.

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Things I Learned While Having a Natural Miscarriage

1. Just because the internets tell you that you may have brown spotting for several days before the actual m/c starts, don't take their word for it. Sometimes the m/c starts the morning after the spotting starts.

2. When you are expecting a m/c and wake up with strong cramps after having had cramps all night, do not go to work. Check email from home, make a few calls if you have to, but Do.Not.Go.To.Work. You'll be so very glad you stayed home.

3. If you must run out to the store for a giant pack of maxi-pads, make it quick. The m/c may move along faster than you expect, and those mildly annoying cramps may soon feel like a giant is squeezing your abdominal area while pounding on your lower back. This may or may not be like a non-stop labor pain, I have no idea. Labor pains are not exactly my area of expertise. But from what I've heard, at least you can rest between labor pains. The constant squeezing sensation of a m/c gets pretty old pretty quick. (Note that the lady at the store will still recommend that you have a nice day, even when your purchase includes maxi pads with wings and a year's supply of panty liners.)

4. Do not be afraid to call your doctor's office and ask for their advice. You'll feel much better knowing that the professionals have you on their radar. And the nice nurse might recommend taking 600 mg of A*dvil immediately and have the doc order serious pain meds stat. If she suggests anti-nausea drugs, say "yes please." You'll be glad you did.

5. When your water breaks about a minute after your husband drives off to the pharmacy to fill your scrips, do not panic, even if it had not occurred to you that there would be water to break. Grab your phone and call your mother. If you mother is not preternaturally calm in real emergencies, as mine is, call your most level-headed friend. You'll be incredibly glad to have that voice on the other end of the line while you cramp and bleed and wait for your husband to come back.

6.  It doesn't matter what you chitchat about while you bleed. The idea is to be in contact with someone who cares about whether you're still able to speak in coherent sentences and who can distract you from what is happening. Tell jokes if you're up to it. Stories about really bad menstrual experiences are also appropriate. If you're of an analytical or scientific nature, a blow-by-blow description of the m/c action may help the other person judge the seriousness of the situation, and/or keep you both laughing, depending on how sick your respective senses of humor are. Again, this is not a conversation for the squeamish.

7. Bathtubs are your friend. When the bleeding gets serious, just crawl right into the tub (taking your phone with you, of course). The tub contains the mess, you can sit down, curl up or lean back to rest as need be, and when things get too yucky, you can easily clean yourself up while washing everything down the drain.

8. Well, not everything goes down the drain. Some stuff you'll want to save if your doctor has asked you to so that they can test it and get a better idea for how much tissue passed. Best to be prepared by having ziplo*c bags or old tupp*erware close by.

9. If you're 11 weeks into your pregnancy and it's only been 2 weeks since your unborn child's heart stopped, you will see the little embryo when it emerges. You may be so overwhelmed by the other unidentifiable stuff that is coming out of you that you barely pay attention to it. You may notice that it has tiny little feet with practically invisible toes. You may be amazed how perfectly formed it is. You may decide not to think too much about all of that.

10. When your husband comes back with the meds, be sure to warn him before he walks into the bathroom so that he is less likely to freak out at the sight that greets him. You'll need him to be in good shape later -- to bring you stuff, to help you deal with the detritus, to bring you food and drink when the red sea stops flowing.

11. When you stand up, remember that you've had a ton of pain meds and lost a lot of blood. Be sure that your husband is there, and perhaps lean in his direction, because you very well may pass out. If you're lucky, he'll keep you from hitting the floor, then pick you up and put you on the couch with a bunch of pillows, where you'll spend the rest of the day napping with the Cats. The Dog may stop by to sniff at you and look very worried.

12. Stay hydrated and be glad you had the anti-nausea meds. If you're lucky, you'll be confident that everything that was supposed to come out did come out, the bleeding will slow down to a manageable rate and you will not have to go to the emergency room. Make a note to update your doctor's office in the morning.

13. Let your husband do everything for you for the rest of the day.

14. Pat yourself on the back and say "well done." Send a little thought up to the universe with thanks for making this very odd experience so manageable and non-hideous, relatively speaking.

Comments

[luna]

oh, I'm so sorry that's how you spent your day. I hope you took some painkillers at least. glad nature took it's rotten course though... and now I really hope you are taking it easy and healing heart and body.

[Almamay]

I'm so sorry.

[Wishing4One]

Oh man that scared me, but it was theraputic in a strange way. I've never experienced a M/C but if I do i will be prepard now thanks to you. I hope you heal quickly, mentally and physically and thanks for sharing this sad turn of events with us. Thinking of you! ((( HUGS )))xoxoxoxoxo

[Shelli]

I am so sorry.

I've been there, and wish someone would have informed me what to expect. Messy, painful, and tragic.

Sending you healing vibes.

[BrooklynGirl]

You're very brave.

[Sara]

Oh my. You brave soul. I am sorry that it was so traumatic, but glad your body decided it was time. Take care of yourself.

[Sherry]

Oh my dear - you truly are brave. Being a D&E veteran, I know I would have taken that way out in a heartbeat.

So glad that the mister was there for you - and your mom too. I so wish you didn't have to go through any of this at all.

Be good to yourself and get some rest over the long weekend.

[Sara]

Courageous, brave and amazingly strong -- I would apply all these descriptions to you. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I admire you more than you know.

[Kelly]

Wow. I know you preferred it this way rather than having the D&C but...wow. Sending out healing vibes -- Love you and the mister and thinking of you both lots.

[melanie]

Not an experience for the weak, which you most assuredly are not. It has to be equally hard on your heart, so I'm sending warm thoughts to you.

[Michelle]

sending you huge hugs!!!

[noswimmers]

Wow...so many big hugs coming your way. I'm so very sorry.

[Heather.PNR]

I had no idea it could be like that. I'm so sorry.

You are one strong woman.

[Mar]

thank you for sharing this. I had no idea and I am so sorry you had to go through it. I wish you well on your recovery.