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July 30, 2008

Comments

Mrs.X

You go! It is so rare that we get a chance to have a really good chance to talk to those in the medical profession who have not done a good job for us - for whatever reason. Good for you for talking to your doctor. I'm glad that she admitted that she failed you - she did! - and was able to admit it. But, I think you are also wise to find another OB. It's sad to say, but how can you trust her and her office to give you good information when she failed so spectacularly this time?

Rachel

Wow. I am very impressed with your work. Good job explaining how the doctor failed you and what she needs to change. Now I wonder how much she's going to bill your HMO for that extra-long appointment?

luna

I'm so glad you had that 1:1 time with her. hope it was satisfying, for what its worth. and good of her to admit her shortcomings. I'm impressed. also good that you find a new ob though, since you've lost confidence in them. I know I can't go back to my old ob either...

and I hate going to the dentist too.

Wishing4One

Man, can you imagine her talk with her husand or whoever that night at home? Can you imagine her thoughts driving home ending the day? Shit, I bet her whole day was consumed by thoughts of her conversation with you.... and you know what AWESOME. Maybe just maybe you have awoken her to ome very important patient issues. I am so super duper proud of you. You my friend are the "man".

BrooklynGirl

You rock, seriously.

I always have been bothered about the differing standards of care for repeated miscarriers (defined, I believe, as 3 or more) versus that for women who have "only" had one or two. Had I known that there was a series of blood tests for recurrent pregnancy loss, for example, I would have done it after my first loss, found my clotting issue, and saved 2 years (and 2 more losses).

It's one thing for insurance companies to play the odds and refuse to cover the tests after "only" one loss (I'm not saying it's right--just understandable), but had I known the tests existed, I certainly would have paid out of pocket for them--or started arguing with my insurance company there and then.

If there's anything I can do to help with your brochure, let me know.

Shelli

I think it's great that you had the time to hash it out with her.

I had my annual a couple of weeks ago at my OB/GYN, and had a lengthy conversation about their protocol... I had two m/c with them before they even THOUGHT of referring me for testing, and I wasted SO MUCH TIME I couldn't get back. I was already 38 at that point, and I asked the OB why they wouldn't refer anyone over age 35 with a m/c right away... she was stumped and thought... hmmmmm, that's an idea. I hadn't stepped foot into an RE's office until my 3rd m/c.

Gosh, if I could do it all over again....

Let me know if you need anything for your project. Having had 5 m/c's... I feel like I've seen everything.

Sherry

You continue to amaze me. I give you so much credit for sitting down with her and being so frank and direct.

I've had a couple of experiences that I wish I had done something similar with - if for nothing else, than to possibly prevent it happening to another poor woman who came after me. Unfortunately, in my post-m/c situations, I was always so emotionally compromised that the idea of doing such a thing seemed an impossible mountain to climb.

You're my hero!

Melanie

Sounds to me like you handled it perfectly, like an intelligent, articulate adult. Well done. I'm afraid I would have handled it like a screeching hyena. Your dental experience made me smile (not the root canal, et al). The last time I went to an HMO dentist, the office was in a trailer, two cats wandered into the waiting room and the receptionist was smoking a cigarette on the front step. I left.

Otherwise, hope all is well with you!

Shinejil

What an amazingly productive conversation, one where it sounds like your perspective was heard and respected by the OB. I'd bet that's due to your articulateness, which is quite a feat, after your recent experiences.

After not seeing a dentist in 7 years (grad students don't deserve dental insurance, you know), I had a hellish list of stuff to do (still working through it). I'm glad you found someone you can work with; it makes a huge difference. I've got the hippy dentist, who's all about relaxation.

Shinejil

What an amazingly productive conversation, one where it sounds like your perspective was heard and respected by the OB. I'd bet that's due to your articulateness, which is quite a feat, after your recent experiences.

After not seeing a dentist in 7 years (grad students don't deserve dental insurance, you know), I had a hellish list of stuff to do (still working through it). I'm glad you found someone you can work with; it makes a huge difference. I've got the hippy dentist, who's all about relaxation.

Rebecca

I give you a lot of credit for being honest with the doctor...it sounds like that's what she needed to hear to make some really important changes around her office and within herself. Good for you and good luck with your dental stuff...it's always such a pain in the ass when things change in coverage!

docgrumbles

I was upset when after my second m/c my OB told me I'd need to have one more to warrant any testing ... it was so frustrating - why not check now?

eggedout

Well done with your doctor. In the end, I'm sure she will appreciate your openness so she can improve her practice. And I hate the dentist, too, and haven't been in 7-8 years and probably won't go until I need a zillion things done which will just make me hate the dentist even more.

You're great.

Fiddle1

Outstanding! I hope that tooth pain diminshes or you find a quick way to make it go away. Ugh. I left you a pink rose at my blog this morning. Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you.

noswimmers

Wow--good for you! I could never do that. I'm sure she'll think next time she deals with an IFer. Or anyone, for that matter. Sometimes docs need a reality check.

You go, doctor slayer!

The Babychaser

Nicely done. I'm really impressed. Not sure I could have stood up to a doc who had hurt me so badly, at least on a face-to-face (I write good letters, though). I'm sure that was at least somewhat cathartic, no?

So sorry about the teeth. Sounds painful and expensive. I grind too, and wear a mouthguard to sleep.

And I'm glad that your m/c has made its way out of your system. I really hope that, with the bleeding behind you and your hormones returning to normal, you can start feeling more like yourself again. It's been a rough summer, I know.

Lifeslurper

So sorry to hear of your loss. However, it is wonderful to hear of an OB admitting to errors and apologizing for wrong doings. They can do that?! Wow! I believe we have to be happy with these people who are supposed to be caring for us through this whole thing...that is the reason I am now with my third fertility specialist, oh and wow, what a difference having a doctor we trust and like has made. Best wishes!

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