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March 08, 2008



ugh, it just sucks that we even have to think about these things, you're right. I hope your company takes a more well-reasoned approach that's not just governed by the bottom line but a desire to keep you happy.

I know it's hard not to think about it this way, but you don't need to separate the bio-pregnancy thing. if you have a child, it's your child and they will have to deal. I've known several lawyers who took leave to care for newly adopted babies. even a dad, but he was a professor, which is different than what you're talking about. again, it just sucks to be faced with these issues.

as far as donor cycle or adoption, only you two can answer that question... sorry, no help there. good luck. ~luna


I very much relate to what you're saying. I have thought often if I hadn't chosen to be a lawyer at 26, my life and fertility would be very different. The mommy track you discuss is very real. I feel valued at my company, but I also work with many male lawyers who have multiple children and stay at home spouses. It's a different mindset. A woman (lawyer) I work with is pregnant and told her bosses she was taking 4 months maternity leave and wanted to come back part time for several months. The male contingent has been mumbling about it nonstop. Nevermind that their wives don't work.

Enough about those men, more interesting is what path you will eventually choose. Are you leaning one way or another?


My mom always said that if we waited until everything seemed perfect for a child (right house, money in the bank, great affordable childcare, etc) no one would ever have children.

It's a tough decision. What is driving us to try a donor egg cycle is that IF it all works out, we will have a baby 9 months later. Now, that's a big IF, I know. The adoption process seems so complicated to me with so many things out of our control. We're going on the assumption that the donor egg will work for us and we're even holding out a little hope that there will be a few extra embryos for a sibling. See, we're too hopefull at this point. We're not rational at all.

Good luck on your decision.

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