Oh yes, she would!

Here is my response to the fourth prompt for the Open Adoption Roundtable:

Write about a small moment that open adoption made possible.

I've read some of the other responses. They are touching, sweet, sad, and wonderful.

Mine, on the other hand ...

You see, a few weeks ago, our little Squeaker had his first cold. Fever, tiny cough, runny nose, the works. We made sure he got lots of liquids, dosed him with Baby Ty.lenol when his fever got too high, checked with the advice nurse to make sure we were doing all the right things. In other words, we acted like first-time parents with a first-time sick kid.

I looked at Squeaker one morning that week and there was this gi-normous booger in his nose, just looming there like a sinister monster waiting to slime us all.

I reached for a soft cloth and did my best to extract said booger from Squeaker's nose. He decided that I was doing him a great injustice, and he put up one hell of a fight -- kicking, yelling, the works. He did not want that booger extracted from his nose. No way, no how. And not by me.

I turned to the Mister, who was observing the struggle and said, "You know what this child is saying to me? He's saying 'My real mom wouldn't be torturing me like this! My real mom wouldn't be trying to get this booger out of my nose!!"

"Oh yes, she would!" replied the Mister -- and we both burst out laughing.

The night we met Squeaker and his first mom, we spent about 6 hours just hanging out with them in her hospital room. At one point, she was examining him, commenting on various facial features, his skin tone, his hair. And then she said to him, in a tone that dripped with disapproval, something like, "Oh, you've got a big booger in your nose. I hate seeing boogers in a baby's nose." And she removed that booger in the most no-nonsense manner. It was funny as hell, because she was quite clearly not going to stand for her baby having a booger in his nose. But it was also bittersweet, since in a few hours, she would be saying goodbye to this baby, and it might be the last time she had a chance to care for his physical needs.

Our adoption is open, but Squeaker's birthmom has not been in contact with us since he was 2 weeks old. So we have a very limited amount of hard factual information to share when he is old enough to ask about her. We hope this changes, and we do what we can to let her know that we'd love to hear from her.

In the meantime, the fact that the Mister and I could both answer this unspoken gripe of our 7-month-old son with absolute certainty was incredibly fun. It's a small moment for sure, and it wouldn't have been possible without open adoption.

Comments

[Lori Holden]

Oh, BOY do I remember those boogers that somehow were bigger than the space they occupied!

A sweet moment on finding your footing. I am including it in a post on the Open Adoption Examiner shortly.

[mama2roo]

thanks for sharing that story. Love it! found you on open adoption bloggers.